Autistic Communication Differences

All about Scripts and Pragmatics

Autistic scripting isn't always obvious.

Sometimes is isn't JUST quoting song lyrics from popular cartoons to communicate joy,

Or imitating the weather report on hurricanes, to express worry.

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Based on my personal experiences as an Autistic,

Sometimes Autistic scripting can also be:

*Testing caregivers with "provocative" words,.to see if their reactions will match the responses they see from sitcom moms/dads, so you will know if the lessons/words from the show are applicable to real life

*Trying out observed physical cues or body language, to see how others react when they are added to words.

*Changing an accent or dialect,.to fit in with the majority group.

*Working extremely hard to follow a social script that has been taught explicitly, unable to stop smiling or making eye contact, even when it hurts, because (for instance) that is what you have been taught to do, in job interviews

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And so Autistic people require your patience when we seem like erratic communicators.

(Think of "Eleven" in Stranger Things, trying her best and still being bullied)

We are doing our best to navigate something extremely complex!

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Communication is not JUST words.

It's when we speak those words.

Who we speak them to.

How close we stand.

What emotions we allow to show.

The speed we use.

How we adapt to our audience's

gender, or age, expectations.

And what words we stress or amplify.

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This is all, what is known as

LANGUAGE PRAGMATICS

And a lot of Autistic folks learn these, not just through in-person observation,

but through systematic trial and error....

trying out what they have seen in movies and TV shows,

what we have been told by authority figures (even when it doesn't match how peers actually act)

Or even what they have read

about in books!

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So what can help us?

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When we are too young to drive,

Speech language therapy with a focus on pragmatic language can help.

And if you can't get access, a social skills group might help.

As older teens and adults,

There is a lot of value to classes on things like linguistics, sociology, cultural anthropology, business communication,.gender roles, and international studies

and Stories that teach communication skills to an "outsider" can help us, too (fiction about cross cultural experiences, tv shows like Mork and Mindy or The Neighbors)

And rehearsing interactions with improv exercises can work for ALL ages.

(I bet you run through scenarios in your head, so you know what to say, all the time!)

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But a lot of what helps us is:

Patience

Asking what we mean, directly

Not assuming we are lying or being insincere, or putting on an affect

And gently but clearly, offering hints on how we can be more effective.

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And if we get really into a Fantasy, foreign, or historical series and start trying out weird mannerisms in real life....

just let it go.

It's how we play ANd it helps us to puzzle out what works/doesn't.

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Do you have any questions or thoughts about Autistic communication?

Do you struggle to know why your child says something at the "wrong moment?"

Or do you remember having to work really hard to figure out how to communicate in a way which wouldn't get you teased?