Knowing Your Limits

Autistic and Limited

Autism is just a variation on human, but it IS sometimes LIMITING 🤔

For instance, because of my Autism:

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*I can't tolerate injustice. ⚖️

Fairness is an Autistic social value. Equity is deeply important to the vast majority, of Autistics.

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*I don't work well, within the conventional idea of social hierarchies. 📊

It makes NO sense to me, that some people are given greater social, economic, and spiritual authority over others,

because of their popularity, race, wealth, or aesthetic.

I gave credit to people who have earned it, and not just because they EXPECT credit based on status.

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*The concept of binary gender seems ridiculous. 💞

There are too many cultural and biological features in play,

for something with complex expression, to be so simplified.

I would rather take someone's word for it. They can gender label themselves (or not).

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*I am driven to question authority figures and rethink the status quo. 🧓🙇

After all, the status quo and authority figures, rarely have MY needs in mind,

when they curate a system for "everyone" to participate in.

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*I have retained a primal instinct that many Allistic people have lost,

to prioritize my sensory comfort over what looks/sounds/smells "hyped," "stunning," and "awe inspiring." 🎪

Masking my sensory limits is difficult and uncomfortable.

I don't like to mask, just to partipate in the social idea that "everything new and different is automatically good."

I value the familiar and safe.

I don't enjoy being overwhelmed, so I set limits to protect myself. You know....like therapists suggest that people, do.

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*I don't always understand strict heterosexuality.

Being Bisexual, Pansexual, or in some way, Queer, seems like it should be way more common....a NORM for the majority.

After all, as an Autistic, I have spent thousands of hours, being split into binary social groups of boys v. girls.

And during all those weeks of sex-segregated cabins at summer camp,

gender-divided competitive teams at school,

gender divided athletic activities in the community,

sex divided spiritual study groups at church/synagogue/mosque,

even sex divided meals when the Happy Meal came with a "Girl toy" or a "boy toy...."

during all that time, I have been trying to understand the confusing communication style and social signals of people whose gender presents similarly to mine.....

just so I can survive in a society of mixed Neurotypes (Allistic, Autistic, ADHD, Au-DHD, Bi-Polar, Anxious, Traumatized).

And now you want me to learn how to communicate effectively with the OTHER folks?

The ones who present gender in a completely foreign way, to me?

That seems HARD.

Should relationships BE that hard?

What makes that desirable?

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*I like my emotions to SHOW in how I use my body.

I know sometimes, if I am rocking back and forth or making whimpering noises, it makes Allistic society uncomfortable.

But I AM uncomfortable.

And likewise, when I am excited, I know sometimes Allistic people find my rapid speech, waving my hands, or spinning around, to be odd.

But that doesn't bother me, because I'm used to being perceived as eccentric.

Allistic people often communicate indirectly and it bothers me, but I manage.

They should be able to tolerate my DIRECT "behavior is communication" gestures, more often.

(And all the Neurodivergent people who have trauma from years of Conforming to Allistic ideals, should give me a break, too. We know better, now. We must DO better.)

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*I can get REALLY focused on my special interests, and miss the big picture.

I get criticized for it, often. I'm told that I "perseverate."

I can turn practically any conversation into a talk about history and the study of human cultures across the globe.

Then again, don't we NEED more specialists, in the world, to help us solve really specific problems that are keeping humanity from making progress?

Don't we always tell school children, to make connections and view education as a holistic experience that needs to extend beyond the classroom?

So....why do I get critiqued so much, for doing that,

and for using my passions to motivate my continued studies,

and motivate the me to seek social connections outside of my usual comfort zone?

I think...perhaps I make some folks realize that they just don't "care about anything that deeply," and it makes them self conscious.

But a world where everyone cares about SOMETHING, is a more interesting place...a place with the potential to evolve.

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So, yeah.

I'm Autistic. And it really limits me in some ways.

The thing is....none of that really matters.

Because I choose to live an unmasked, Neuroaffirming life.

I choose to surround myself with people who see me as I am, and value me for what I can contribute.

(Even if what I can contribute is only moral support, glimmers of joy, shared laughter in times of pain, and camaraderie in times of success).

I choose to seek accomodations not just for myself, but for EVERYONE, because we ALL benefit when access and inclusion are the norms.

And I choose to be Authentically ME....because life is too short to pretend I'm anyone else

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What are some of YOUR family's limitations?

(The things you just can't tolerate or make sense of)

Prhaps those limits aren't such a bad thing.